It has been a long, tiring, difficult fortnight, with some good times. The overall feeling is one of numbness, but I suppose that’s the desired effect of the medication. There’s still the feeling of being an observer of my own life; constantly functioning a beat behind everyone else... a bit like when the sound and vision are not properly aligned on the telly. The worst of this spell of depression has passed for now, leaving a drained exhaustion behind it. The thousands of fractured shards of my spirit are in a pile on the ground and the long process of re-assembling them into a better, stronger version of me will begin when it begins. It will take a long time to recover from this episode, but with a bit of luck and help I’ll get there eventually. I’ll be like a gorgeous Kintsugi bowl then. You can Google that! I had a very good weekend around the 8th, when I brought my first horsebox full of belongings up to Rathmullan to the shipping container I bought. A lot of my life has been in storage since I sold the last house in 2018, so it was good to renew my acquaintance with some of my things. I had got a bill that morning from the quarries for all the stone and gravel for finishing around the house. I hate owing money so when I arrived in Letterkenny I swapped vehicles with Rachel at the brewery and headed to the bank for a load a lolly. As luck would have it, their money man was on his way into Letterkenny so we completed the transaction very swiftly.
